A Minnesota man was recently arrested after he stole $25,000 worth of liquid Tide from Wal-Mart during a 15-month period. Law enforcement authorities said that because of the recession, more people are stealing laundry detergent and reselling it at flea markets and other places. They’re calling it Liquid Gold.
I can just imagine the following scenario:
A middle-aged woman is standing on a street corner in the seedy run down part of town. An old rusty car pulls up beside her.
“Hey can you help me out? I’m looking for a fix?”
“Well you’ve come to the right place. All my stuff is top of the line.”
“What have you got?”
“Purple Power, Deep Blue Blast, Mauwie Wowie Whitening, and California Concentrated.”
“What’s the Mauwie Wowie Whitening?”
“That’s for whites.”
“Wow that’s racist! What about the Purple Power?”
“That makes colors really bright and vibrant.”
“How much does that cost?
“”Five dollars for 100 fluid ounces.”
“That’s crazy how can you sell it so cheap? Give me 100 fluid ounces of Purple Power.”
“Here you go I hope you enjoy it.”
“What the hell? Is this some kind of joke? What’s this crap?”
“It’s liquid laundry detergent. I’m selling it on the black market.”
“Forget it. I’m looking for drugs and I don’t give a #%$& about laundry detergent!”
“That’s too bad because judging by your appearance you could use some laundry detergent plus a shower.”
“ &%$# you!” The guy drives off.
"Some people just can’t take a suggestion."
I can just imagine the following scenario:
A middle-aged woman is standing on a street corner in the seedy run down part of town. An old rusty car pulls up beside her.
“Hey can you help me out? I’m looking for a fix?”
“Well you’ve come to the right place. All my stuff is top of the line.”
“What have you got?”
“Purple Power, Deep Blue Blast, Mauwie Wowie Whitening, and California Concentrated.”
“What’s the Mauwie Wowie Whitening?”
“That’s for whites.”
“Wow that’s racist! What about the Purple Power?”
“That makes colors really bright and vibrant.”
“How much does that cost?
“”Five dollars for 100 fluid ounces.”
“That’s crazy how can you sell it so cheap? Give me 100 fluid ounces of Purple Power.”
“Here you go I hope you enjoy it.”
“What the hell? Is this some kind of joke? What’s this crap?”
“It’s liquid laundry detergent. I’m selling it on the black market.”
“Forget it. I’m looking for drugs and I don’t give a #%$& about laundry detergent!”
“That’s too bad because judging by your appearance you could use some laundry detergent plus a shower.”
“ &%$# you!” The guy drives off.
"Some people just can’t take a suggestion."
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