I hate hot weather. By September I’ve had my share of heat and humidity and I’m ready for some nice cool fall weather. Unfortunately, what do we have this year? More hot weather. It’s Indian Summer every year. I’m sorry that was politically incorrect, I should have said Native American Summer every year now.
In September we had a frost warning and it got cold. We don’t have central air. We rely on window fans to cool the house. So when it got cold I took out all the window fans and closed all the windows. What happened? The temperature shot up to the 90’s so I had to put the window fans back in again. At this point, I’m not taking out any fans until I see snow on the ground.
What happened to sweater weather? The other day I drove by the local lake and saw people sunbathing in October! Maybe I should put on my bathing suit to rake leaves? (Note to neighbors. I was just kidding don’t panic and put your house up for sale!)
I’m sure you’ve heard of El Nino. Well there’s also a little known weather phenomena known as La Claxtonia. This occurs when Deb Claxton gives up her whole weekend to pack up all her summer clothes and haul them off to storage. This simple act then sets off a chain reaction causing the temperature to drastically rise leaving her suffering from heat exhaustion because she only has wool sweaters and jeans to wear.
My room is now filled with winter and summer clothes because I don’t know what to wear from one day to the next. It starts out cold in the morning so I put on jeans and a long sleeve shirt. By afternoon, it’s hot out and I’m drenched in sweat. Hot, cold, hot, cold. This is almost as bad as menopause.
Fashion experts advise dressing in layers. I should invest in stripper clothes so when I get hot I can start ripping them off. Don’t get too excited, I plan to wear shorts and a T-shirt underneath!
As if this hot fall weather weren’t bad enough, I just heard today that we’re in for a really bad winter! Does anyone in Hawaii need a live in personal assistant?